


Until Sunrise

by Damien_Blake_Potter



Series: Damien's Harry Potter One-Shots [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Depressed Harry Potter, Depression, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Suicidal Harry Potter, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22277518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damien_Blake_Potter/pseuds/Damien_Blake_Potter
Summary: Darkness comes in many forms, and sometimes the hardest battle to fight is the one taking place in your own mind.
Series: Damien's Harry Potter One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1499633
Comments: 1
Kudos: 146
Collections: Read





	Until Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> It is past 1am at the time of this story being posted and I've just spent the last hour or more writing this on an impulse, so I don't know how good it is, but I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I beta my own work, so if you find any spelling or grammar mistakes please let me know so I can fix them!
> 
> ⚠ If any of the tags trigger you then please be careful if you still choose to read this story!

* * *

Harry swore that this was the darkest moment of his life. He didn't know how he could possibly ever feel any worse than this. Everything had taken a turn for the worst, and Harry couldn't help but feel like it was all his fault.

Cedric was dead. Voldemort had returned. He had barely escaped the graveyard with his life after having been tortured. His Defense Against the Dark Arts professor had turned out to be a Death Eater. Minister Fudge was denying the Dark Lord's return. 

Harry desperately hoped and prayed to any god who would listen that everything that had occurred during and after the third task would just turn out to be a horrible nightmare that he could wake from. But even as he laid in his cot in the Hospital Wing, he knew it was pointless. It was real. This was the reality he was stuck in, and that thought both sent a trill of terror down his spine and filled him with despair.

He wished he could go back in time... Then maybe he could fix everything that went wrong.

But... No. The world didn't work like that. And even if it did, Harry would probably manage to find a new way to mess things up. After all, trouble followed him wherever he went, and it was incredibly likely that he'd just make things worse.

Harry held back a whimper as a tremor went through his body; one of the side effects of having had the Cruciatus Curse cast upon him. Another side effect of the curse was a constant _itch_ just under his skin, where he couldn't just cratch it away. The feeling stretched from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, never letting up, but thankfully never getting worse.

Madame Pomfrey had assured him that the side effects would completely wear off within forty eight hours, but time felt like it was moving at a snail's pace. He had refused a Dreamless Sleep potion when it was offered, but now he was wholeheartedly regreting not taking it. The side effects of the torture curse were making it impossible for him to fall asleep; leaving him in a constant state of discomfort and misery.

Harry glanced to his right, spying an almost empty pitcher of water on the end table next to his cot. Harry stared at it blankly for a few moments, before impulsively reaching out and grabbing it. Without thinking, he sat up and smashed the glass pitcher against the end of the table, completely shattering it, and leaving the floor covered in glass and water. In his right hand he held a sharp piece of glass from the pitcher. He considered the edge for only a second before bringing it down to rest against his left wrist, right below his palm. 

Harry was about to slice open his wrist, but soon enough found himself unable to move at all. All he could do was blink as a slightly wrinkled hand came into his field of vision and carefully pried the glass out of his hand.

"Oh Potter..." He heard a familiar voice say softly.

Harry felt the moment the spell keeping him immobile was lifted, but he didn't look up at the school matron. He just continued to stare down at his hands in his lap, feeling ashamed. 

He felt her gently grip his chin, forcing him to make eye contact.

Madame Pomfrey looked incredibly sympathetic, and it made Harry hate himself even more; he didn't deserve sympathy. He deserved to be dead, and she shouldn't have stopped him. 

"That's not the answer Potter." She told him, "I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but things will get better." Harry scoffed, and Madame Pomfrey just smiled sadly at him, "You can't give up yet Potter, not while there's still hope. I know you can't feel it now, but as long as there are still people fighting the forces of darkness, we will always have hope." She dropped his chin, but he didn't look away.

Harry let out a shaky breath, "But what if the darkness is inside of us? How do we fight it then?"

"By letting others in." Madame Pomfrey answered, "Let others know when you are struggling, and let them help you. You can't fight a war on your own, whether that war is external or internal. You'll need support. But we can't help you if don't let us." She pat his clasped hands gently, before reaching behind her and pulling a flask of Dreamless Sleep out of her pocket. "Now sleep Potter, we can discuss this more when you wake."

Harry slowly took the flask from her, uttering a soft, "Thank you." He downed the potion in one gulp and handed the empty flask back to her. Then he laid back down and closed his eyes, already starting to feel sleep overcoming him. 

Things may seem awful right now, but maybe Madame Pomfrey was right. Maybe things would get better, eventually.

But for now, Harry yawned, and let the comforting darkness of sleep drag him under until sunrise.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this (rather short) One-Shot!
> 
> If you liked it please leave a kodos and a comment telling me what you thought! Constructive criticism is welcome!


End file.
